Can I really do anything with the maids?
Absolutely anything~! We only ask that, where possible, you refrain from causing too much of a scene in public. If your activites become too explicit or alarming, another maid may ask you to continue things in private. But if something should happen to that maid, the others usually let things slide...especially when the "thing" is a coworker sliding down someone's throat.
What happens if I kill a maid?
Although regrettable, we respect our Masters' right to fully enjoy their maids in whatever manner they see fit. For those who elect to add a maid to their meal, this freedom extends even throughout digestion: you may dispose of said maid in the manner most comfortable for you (including in off-site facilities), and need not return personal effects. Please note, however, that the death of a maid may incur an added fee.
My favorite maid is dead!
The loss of a maid can be upsetting to the entire Maru's family, of which our loyal customers are an essential part. You are welcome to pay your respects in the "Former Maids" section of our website. Given time, however, we are sure you will find another maid to fill the gap left behind! Please feel free to turn to those who remain for support: most will be happy to reminisce about their old coworker, and you may well find a new relationship born from mutual sadness!
Can I keep a maid to myself?
Customers seeking to reserve a specific maid for personal use are encouraged to look into our HOMEMAID™ program! However, even a HOMEMAID™ may only be kept off the floor for so long. Other guests want to meet them, too!
I ate one of your maids and they wouldn't stop squirming.
We're very sorry that you had a bad experience! Although our maids will go to great lengths to please their Masters, understand that most of our staff are younger and working part-time; being eaten remains fairly rare (certainly in proportion to the number of customers serviced) and few are truly prepared to die before clocking out. Therefore, unfortunately, we find most maids' desire to serve ends with ingestion. Fortunately, we do not honor mid-shift resignations!
The maid profiles are unusually candid. Are they really true?
Every word! Each maid's profile is written after a probing orientation interview and updated as necessary. Just as you are entitled to know what's in your food, so too do you deserve to know all about your maids — and like a delicious meal containing unhealthy ingredients, a maid's story may not be all cheer.
Why so many different styles of uniform?
From Victorian vestments to the scantiest skirts, our maids dress in a variety of styles to to ensure a diverse slate of options for our guests. Each maid picks their own uniform during orientation, a rite-of-passage for every new hire; of course, not all are able to don their preferred style, but most eventually grow into their choice. Whatever your preference, there's a maid for you at Maru's!
...And bunnygirls?
Of course! Bunnies have long played an iconic role in the service industry, and each bunnygirl at Maru's takes pride in carrying on that legacy. Though their costumes may be different, rest assured that our bunnies are held to the same standards as our maids.
