This profile was copied automatically from the old chat.
'Unhinged~? But I don't have hinges~! Well, I guess my jaw is kind of a hinge... wait, are joints hinges? Oh, psh... now you're gonna have me thinking about this all day!'
----
Something's wrong with Yggdra. Then again, something's always been wrong with Yggdra. You think she's smiling like that because she's happy? Well, she probably is happy... but a smile like that only appears on the batshit insane. Which is what she is.
Most people blame Evangel, the sword she wields... the blade has a rather malevolent intelligence about it, but no one really remembers what she was like before she found the sword, so it's rather difficult for anyone to say for sure! The weapon has eyes, and is always watching its surroundings... and it has a physical form, that of a creepy little blonde girl in gothic lolita attire, that it uses to manipulate its surroundings. Maybe having a living sword is enough to push one over the edge?
But, anyway, that's all in the past. Yggdra's a lunatic. Completely unpredictable, she's just as likely to kiss you as she is to quarter you and dance around with your severed limbs.
She's quite the attractive little package... though no one's really sure what species she is. Lots of folks call her an elf, but she doesn't think she's an elf. She doesn't seem to be very sure, herself! But she's busty enough, and has a nice butt and firm hips, and her hair is gorgeous. Her physiology doesn't really evoke elven thoughts, most of the time... possibilities abound that she might be a demon, or an alien, due to some of her more unique skills. She won't tell, and neither will Evangel.
Yggdra's main claim to fame, other than her mental instability, is her fighting style. She's a warrior, you see... hence the sword... but she vorefights. Charging her way into a formation of enemy soldiers, she lights them up... but only one or two fall to her sword. Her hair devours some, her butt devours some, her breasts devour some, even more slide down her throat or are dissolved by her tongue... and by the time she's done she's usually got some extra padding! The most opponents she's ever combated at once is thirty-six... a six by six man formation of halberdiers. Three were killed. The rest were eaten.
Oh, Evangel eats sometimes too. Her little child body might seem harmless, but not only is she vampiric and able to steal and eat souls, but her hair is just as powerful as Yggdra's!
So~!
---Yggdra's Eating Abilities; also known as 'Why We're Pretty Sure Yggdra Isn't An Elf'---
Tongue - Yggdra's tongue has been measured, at max extension, to be near thirty-five feet long. It is sticky and powerful, and it is also known to secrete a rather brutally powerful digestive liquid that allows her to melt someone and suck them up with the tip like a milkshake. It can constrict enough to crush armor, and the tip can take full-sized victims into the powerful muscle.
Oral - Despite her modest five feet, eight inches of height, Yggdra has been seen throat-cramming fully armored knights. It's assumed that some unnatural force is at work here, because they shrink as they enter, and by the time they get to her belly most victims are doll-sized at two feet tall, and remain this way if horked up. Digestion is dull or painful depending on multiple factors.
Butt - Yggdra is hilariously proud of her tight little butt, and likes to pummel and smother people with it. She's not opposed to devouring them with it, either... she seems to digest and absorb everything she eats, so it's a clean trip, and her victims are dollshrunken by the same force that does so if they're eaten orally.
Breasts - Yggdra's breasts are... odd. They're not enormous, but they can be... and they seem to be filled with whatever is appropriate at the time. From milk, to pudding, to Bailey's and rum. We aren't really sure how it works. But, she can eat folks with them. One human's worth of breastgobbling is enough to send her up three cup sizes. The nipples are the usual path, though cleavage crushing trips are relatively common as well.
Hair - Yggdra's hair is her primary weapon. Even moreso than Evangel. Her long locks are extremely strong, extremely deadly, and prove nigh-uncuttable. Crushing and constricting injuries, dissolving in acid, smothering, molestation, suffocating... all of these are possible if you're facing her terrifying tresses.
Unbirth?? - Yggdra doesn't know much about sex. She doesn't care much about sex. What she does know is that she has an orifice between her legs that is very powerful, and it's a very convenient way to destroy people. So, she uses it as such. If Yggdra unbirths you, it is extremely unlikely she is doing it out of affection. She gives kisses and hairsnuggles as affection... unbirth is more or less the ultimate painful punishment from her.
---Evangel's Eating Abilities; also known as 'OHGOD The Sword Is Attacking Us Too!---
Despite being a sword most of the time, Evangel has been known to play around in human form and eat folks too~!
Vampiric - Evangel absorbs blood while she is a sword, and when she is in her little human form she tends to go right for the neck of her foes, nipping and slurping their blood. Tasty~
Souls - Evangel also absorbs souls in sword form, so when she transforms, delicious Evangel kisses are usually the last thing people see before their souls end up in her tummy.
Hair - Evangel's hair is like an infinite carpet of inescapable curly bliss. Usually with no provocation, she will lengthen her hair and slam it down on someone. It's curled very specifically, so that any struggles serve to mire her victims in the tresses and aid in their own digestion. Fun!
----
Yggdra is more or less a mercenary right now, though she tends to demand payment rather inconsistently. One day she may ask for gold, another day she may ask for cookies, and still another day may find her asking for alcohol and wenches... so she can pour the alcohol ON the wenches and light them on fire.