The_Yardbird

Or, at least, that's how he should end up.

Connie Cox is quite the scamp, toying around on the borderline of things not exactly meant to be toyed with - like, for one, legal scripture. Though, everyone around him knows he's a lazy bag of bones so the most he has for a criminal record is whatever pieces of media fill his torrents that very day. He has a history of mingling with the underbelly of the web - a long, long history that had all to do with another sort of belly.

The idea came about somewhere near his highschool years...or perhaps middle school, the fellow isn't too much of a reliable source for it. He noticed, like most around the time, that he was changing; unlike most, his appetite spiraled out of control and never came down from said spiral. Thanksgiving? The turkey might as well have been bones by the time Connie got around to seeing it. Christmas season? The usual recipe for a feast (mind you, this change ran in the family so it wasn't exactly small potatoes) had to be doubled come the year after a less than merry one - for all but Connie.

Years went by, and then came the time where he couldn't be satisfied by normal food in the day-by-day ; school food was just so...empty. So, then came that school's "incident"; a distant friend of his (who he got sick of, by that day) was pulled over into a bathroom stall - never to
leave. Satisfied, he left that day with a bloated gut and the knowledge that he alone was the cause of major social climate change.

Everyone seemed to be on edge, as no one knew who was going to slide out of their contemporary's cheeks by the end of the day. He kept on eating off of the world's largest menu; but soon came the time where college loomed, and all of the costs associated with it.

Safe to say, that got him off his ass - and certain people in it, as that mingling with dark corners of the web was how he paid for most things as a bird away from the nest. Wanted somebody gurgled? Charlie was your guy - just slip a payment, and they'd slip out of him by morning. Come now, and he seems sort of unchanged - still the same mess of a nerd but with an actual job (getting people to "disappear" on the side) and more of his life together.

As soon as someone gives him the proper coin, though, your life might fall apart in his middle~
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(TL;DR - Nerd with no morals, got hungry for peeps when he was younger - and then came time to pay for stuff on his own. So, he did the responsible thing - turned to a shady corner and gurgled for pay.)
(Come one, come all; willing or not, you're still filling~)
Alts_Worth_A_Hoot is responsible for this.