Common_Sense

Hello, friends! I’m the Common Sense Fairy!

This park is my home. And with a nod of my head, a wink of my eye, and a wiggle of my fanny, I have the magical power to dispense knowledge a lot of people on this site should have already figured out, but haven’t.


1) One-word hellos = fail.
And a *poke* is even worse. But by all means, keep at it—it really saves the rest of us time figuring out if you have social skills or not.


2) The person doing the approaching should come with three RP scenarios in mind.
No exceptions. Doesn’t matter if you’re pred or prey, top or bottom, dom/me or sub. You knocked. You entered my house. Don’t then expect me to entertain you.

(Your model here is the Christmas caroler. You knock, I open the door, you sing a song or two. If I like you, I invite you in for wassail. If not, you move on. I am not obligated to do more than be polite. Start fucking singing.)


3) Backstory? This is a *vore* fetish site.
It is for people who get aroused by eating people, or fucking people and then eating them. Now ask yourself—and be honest!—how much backstory do you need?

(Fun test! Open your profile. Scroll till your character description touches the very top of the page. Now hit the space bar to jump down. If your character background can't fit in two screens' worth of space, it’s too long.)


4) Fetishes are a component of, or substitute for, sex.
Sex takes two people, working in tandem. Which means your post length should be roughly the same neighborhood as your partner’s.

And that neighborhood, BTW, is usually semi-para.

(One-sentence people are fine if they are quick and good writers. You multi-para folk are cold starfish who should work on your novel on your own time.)


5) Don't be a Would Nymph.
There is no reason to include "would" in your post unless you are actually saying your character *would* do something *in the future*.

Right: "I lick your face." (or) "My character licks your character's face."

Totally wrong: "I would lick your face." (or) "My character would lick your character's face." For the love of God, stop.


6) Understand the default assumptions implied by your character’s very existence.
If you are an orca, we are going to assume you are pred. If you are a gingerbread man, prey. If you’re playing against type, A) say so *early* in your profile, and B) be able to articulate a good reason why, at least to yourself.

(This is especially true for the legion of submissive dragons on this site. What is the point of cloaking yourself in one of the most enduring symbols of might and power in mythology, only to turn around and beg every single person in the chat if they will eat you? You should have been an anthro muffin, for God’s sake!)

(While we're at it, hey witches! "Hansel and Gretel" is one of the most famous fairy tales of all time, and yet you're listed as A) prey-only who B) doesn't like cooking? That's just...so sad.)

(For some reason, the nagas on here are about the only species/race that don’t fuck this up. Good for you, ladies! Go hit the mouseboy buffet one more time!)

This goes beyond just pred or prey. What are the other price-of-entry features about your character? Cows, don’t be surprised if we try to milk you. Pigs, be able to handle being called fat, being stuffed, or even getting some joking references to bacon. Vampires, know what to do if we’re snacking on garlic. New Jersey residents, we will check for STDs.

(And folks who like to role-play a certain famous cartoon TV family – emphasis on the word *family* – but don't like underage or incest scenes...I mean, hey, good on you...but you get why the rest of us think that's weird right? Do you also you like to role-play "I Dream of Jeanie" with no magic? "Star Trek," but they all have to have office jobs in accounting?)


7) What? You’re not into vore?
Yet you’re on a vore fetish site. Gosh, how lucky for us that we got such a special snowflake you were rejected by the entire rest of the Internet and have decided to insist on RPing here anyway.


8) That goes double for the belly-stuffing/fat fetishists.
Who make us go through an entire stuffing scene, including pestering us for pics, and then bail the moment it’s time for somebody to get friggin’ munched. Perish in a fire, please.


9) I will respect that you don’t like digestion or fatality.
If you will respect that I will automatically assume you are either underage or a virgin.

If you say it’s because you “could never do that to someone you loved,” I will know for a fact you are both.


10) Liking hard vore is not consent.
Just because I like carving, digestion, or fatality, that doesn't mean I'm ready for an unsolicited whisper describing the sizzling of my flesh being branded. Start a conversation first, and get some OOC consent before you send that kind of message.


11) First-person and third-person are both valid RP styles.
The first-person people are just way better at it.

Or way worse.

(Yeah, I get that many first-person folks are annoying. But at least they’re playing the sport, not watching from the couch.)


12) Attention, guys who are pretending to be girls:
See, what you’re doing wrong is… Actually, wait. If I tell you, you’ll stop doing those things. I’m going to shut up now.


13) But I will say this: If you are a guy pretending to be a girl, preserve the illusion!
When I want to RP with men, I RP with men. When I want to RP with women, I RP with women.

But there is nothing worse than having an RP with a “woman,” who, when it’s all over—especially when it is a really good session, for some reason—then feels the need to confess to me…often accompanied with “because I didn’t want to lie to you.”

A) I probably figured it out already. We can tell (see above).

Sheer statistics says you’re a guy. Maybe me, too, for all you know. Not even Provincetown has as many lesbians as Eka’s claims to. But the good ones preserve the illusion.

And B) what is this unburdening supposed to accomplish? Am I supposed to suddenly drop the computer, drive to where you are, wrap you in my arms and tell you I appreciate your honesty and that now we are soulmates? Or am I suppose to tell you that I can make you a girl, and immediately sweep you into my car to hit the mall for a sissy makeover session?

Confession-prone t-girls, listen up: The very best you can hope for is that I won’t care and that you don’t interrupt my afterglow too badly. More likely you are killing the mood, erasing whatever goodwill our RP just engendered, and ensuring I never play with you again.


14) Meanwhile, actual girls:
Just because you are a hot commodity on here, that doesn’t mean you get to suck at role-playing. Make with the typing.


That’s all for now. But don’t worry — I’m sure I’ll be back with more!