Ceffyl

"Hey, that's me! Hi! I'm Ceffyl, the water horse! I live on Eugenia with my dragonmom, Amylia! She's a goddess of life, y'know, and that makes me extra cool and important. She even got me my own moon: Petit-Prince! I can play there all I want without a care in the world! I can rule it like the little prince that I am! And most importantly... it's always around Eugenia. It's around Amylia. It's my own little playground with a watchful mother keeping an ever-vigilant eye.

My past? I don't like to talk about it. What's important is that I'm here and Amylia's here. She brought me out of the darkness and showers me with all the love and affection I could ever want. What do I care about the past when right here, right now, I have what I want? What does it matter that I was lost, miserable, and depressed? As it stands right now, Amylia is all that I need.

And my future? ...I don't care to think about that either. Even from young years before I could even grasp the concept of death, I had mortality drilled into my brain by my own mother. I was constantly reminded that everyone I loved or knew would die. Do you know what that does to you? It makes everything bleak. Nothing matters anymore!" The quadruped deer narrows his eyes and stomps a foreleg. "And nobody cares! You're left to deal with this on your own; why should they concern themselves with an intangible beast such as death?! You have to learn to swim in this ocean of darkness unless you want to drown in it and have your very light taken away from you!"

He snorts and rears up on his hindlegs before crashing down in a mighty cascade of water and waterweed. As the fluid and plants obscure him from sight, his form shifts. From deer to kelpie he changes, furious. Ceffyl's breaths are ragged and short. "You start to avoid everyone; you don't want to talk. You just want to be left alone. Nothing and no one matters, so why even bother?! There's only one person who should suffer the loss and simultaneously know they're the only one who won't care: yourself! And deep down you know you're going to crack someday, but nobody in the universe cares because you've isolated yourself so far away from everyone and anyone! And then... and then..!" The horse's eyes twitch and his entire body tenses up, freezing with mortal apprehension. Shortly thereafter, he collapses to the ground in another curtain of water as his stress releases. He's soon revealed to be a deer once more, laying with a gaze that looks forward listless and empty. He takes in a breath and slowly closes his eyes.

"In my darkest moments, she found me. A fire spluttering in the rain, I was sheltered by her wings from the darkness that encroached upon me. She nurtured my flame and slowly my light grew, delaying those ravenous shadows for just a little longer. The goddess of life adopted me as her own. She gave me a home to return to and also gave me my own moon, a place to play under her caring wings." Ceffyl's eyes half-open, leaving him with a wistful stare. "I know things like this aren't free. Whenever I look at Amylia, I feel guilty. I know deep down that she believes I can become better. It is for her that I carry on." A sigh. "I know not her plans for me and I know not if I am capable of meeting her desires to see me become a whole person. The only thing I do know, though? It's that I don't want to let her down..."

Ceffyl lived a mostly normal life in his early youngling years. He played with the other children, he giggled, he screamed, he hyperactively devoured sugar, he did everything one would expect a child to do! Sure, he was shy and didn't like to be pushed into group activities, but that's normal for some children! Such normal times, however, were doomed not to last long. Once he was able to talk and read, his mother began to push abstract concepts such as loss and death into his mind. Far too young to understand and grasp these concepts, a fear took root and grew in his mind. What did they mean? What did his mother mean by that, "someday, I'll die and you'll have to live on your own?" Did she mean that she would be leaving him? Or did it mean that he would be alone at some point? An obssession was born.

Over the years as he tried to work these morbid subjects out, he became reclusive. He and everyone else were going to die at some point, "never to live again," whatever that meant. Death had not yet solidified in his mind; he knew that "dying" was something to be afraid of as it would take everyone that he loved away from him, but he knew not what death held after it happened. Ceffyl only knew that he was here and he was himself and that was the same for everyone else. Did people just stop "being here" and being themselves? What was the point of even trying to be happy or make friends, then? Surely nothing mattered. The normally excitable child withdrew into his shell, desiring not to interact anymore. His self-worth plummeted as he began to consider himself not worth the precious time defined by life.

More time passed. Now in his mid-to-late teens, depression and a lack of identity ruled his life. Ceffyl couldn't escape the ever-deepening spiral of death and its associated thoughts. Worse yet, his relationship with his mother began to deteriorate. Hounded by her zealous desire to see him do something with his life and often deprived of outlets to relieve his mounting tension, Ceffyl no longer felt safe in his home. The decision came: he would run away and exile himself into the wilds of Eugenia. And so he was gone, throwing himself out into the untamed nature of a world in its prime. Loneliness was no stranger to him, but to be so utterly alone with no support left within him an empty void. Day after day he inched closer to that spectre of death, living only for the sake of living. He cared not what his name was, who he was, where he was from, who gave birth to him. Those things didn't have any meaning once he was dead. It was a miserable, empty existence.

Thoughts of ending his own life often passed his mind, but he knew that he was too cowardly to follow up on such an act. Too scared to end his suffering and perfectly fine with continuing to wallow in an emotionless gray existence, Ceffyl carried on with no purpose. His solo adventure soon herded him into a thick boreal forest where the starlight, the only souce of light in the night, failed to penetrate the treetops. The night brought a blanketing darkness, suffocating and deadly. Predators crept between the trees, ambushing and stalking prey under the cover of inky blackness. But who in their right mind would attack a kelpie? The threat resided not in the dangers of the world and its predatory denizens, but in Ceffyl's breaking mind. He wanted someone, anyone to interact with him. From within the abyss of black came an answer to his pleas: all of his childhood friends and family. Assuming the form of a deer to better traverse the forest floor, he followed them into the night, desperate to hear their voices once more. This yearning, however, led Ceffyl astray. Unable to see anything in the blinding dark, he soon found himself falling in the open air.

As he silently fell into the infinite void and faced a sure death, a somber peace took hold of his heart. Far from home and far from anyone who may know him, his death would go unnoticed. Everyone he knew, even himself, would eventually cease to be. This was simply nature, no? To die? As the wind rippled around his pelt, he closed his eyes and let forth a streak of tears as he waited for the end. Life must have no purpose, no needs, no desires. It is given with a cruel timer maliciously ticking down to cause only despair and sorrow. At least... at least his timer would be coming to a stop now, right?





...........................................................................................................





His death never arrived. Something or someone had caught him and had him pinned softly to their chest. Was it some hungry predator that advantageously snatched him from the air? No, the embrace felt warm, loving, like a mother's touch under the bright daylight. With the cessation of his existence halted, the soft yet macabre peace that gripped his heart released alongside the empty but all-encompassing feeling of nothingness. Emotions not felt in years surged forth to fill in the empty space. It mattered not who or what held him. Ceffyl nestled deep into that hold, letting forth a decades-aged bawl. His holder, his captor, whoever they were, quietly cried with him. He could feel their tears soaking into his fur, blanketing him in a soothing, watery warmth while he let everything out. Wordlessly, the mysterious party carried him off into the night.

As the morning came, Ceffyl received his answer as to who saved him: Amylia, a dragoness, a self-proclaimed goddess of life. By mere chance as she flew by she stumbled upon Ceffyl running off the cliff, seemingly throwing his life away for no reason. It was of no consequence to her to go a little out of her way to save his life and at least try to get him back on his hooves. Were it an average person, Ceffyl might've meekly thanked her and quietly gone on his way, but something compelled him to stay. She shared his sorrow, his heartache in those initial moments of their encounter. Her tears felt genuine, caring. He chose to stay with Amylia, confessing his fears and recalling to her the story of his life. Amylia, even in her long life, never encountered a being like Ceffyl: a being so depressed about its life. And at such a young age, too. Her protective, motherly nature swelled forth in a desire to personally tend to the lost kelpie and rekindle his lost spark.

Amylia quickly set out to resolve the first major problem: the darkness of her world. Eugenia lacked a moon, a property which directly contributed to the night's shroud and ultimately Ceffyl's accident. The goddess of life carefully chose her candidate: a lone moon seemingly cast away from its host and wandering the depths of space with no purpose. Claiming the rock and bringing it into a stable orbit around her world the goddess also planted her seed upon it, letting it flourish with life just like Eugenia. Though it would not reflect the light of Eden -- the resident star -- every night, it would at least offer it on most. And most importantly of all, it would give Ceffyl a place to play and do as he pleased while being under Amylia's watchful eye.

As their relationship grew, Ceffyl began to settle into his deer form and devoted himself wholly to his adoptive dragonmother. Rarely did he leave that cervine visage, as it now held the importance of his first encounter with Amylia. His trust, his life and purpose became dedicated to her and her desires. Amylia's desires were simple: to see Ceffyl have the chance to properly grow up and develop into his own person. The life goddess moved the kelpie to the new moon for protection and her peace of mind, but she still allowed him to travel freely between the celestial bodies if he chose to do so. It was now that Amylia's affectionate monikers for Ceffyl were put in place: "little one" and "little prince." The princely association influenced the name of the moon as well, "Petit-Prince."

The two slowly became inseparable over the years. Their bond truly became like mother and child, planet and moon. Eugenia accepted Ceffyl as one of its own, moreso than the standard living creature. The world itself would guard the deer as it would Amylia, and he would be reborn were he to fall to the ravenous jaws of a predator. Though he is a long way from achieving any of Amylia's goals, the little prince is at least trying his hardest to please his dragonmother!

Ceffyl is shy, reserved, and sheltered. He's been through rough times, but Amylia has coddled him enough to the point that it has caused him to become soft and vulnerable. He holds an air of regality about himself when in scenarios of unavoidable interaction -- he has a dragon goddess as his guardian and adoptive mother! How could he not consider himself royal and mighty?

Ceffyl thinks he's the main character of existence. Ever since being rescued and being given everything he could ever want, Ceffyl believes his story is being written by the universe itself. He suffered through his early years and now he is going through a "redemption arc" leading up to the moment where he becomes a real prince, ruler, or even a god!

The kelpie is easily enraged when Amylia is insulted. Expect trampling hooves.

!! Please be aware as both links contain snuff and diaper content/references. !!

Here's my FA. There's nothing really pertaining to Ceffyl as of yet, however.

Here's an updated F-List. While I love the sliders here, I feel as though I would have way too many when I can simply point to my F-List for a quicker display and explanation.

!! Please be aware as both links contain snuff and diaper content/references. !!

Ceffyl's about as close to "shameless self-insert" as I get with my characters. His lore is pretty closely based on my own life. He was made back at some point around 2015 as the first character of the "Eugenia set" as it were! Deer have always appealed to me, hence the main white-tailed deer form. The kelpie form came in due to a crippling sense of self-doubt at the time -- I rationalized it back then as, "I lure people in with a harmless interaction and then I ruin their lives." From there... the name "Ceffyl" popped forth. The name itself is pretty unremarkable as it is just the Welsh word for "horse," and it is chiefly pulled from Ceffyl Dŵr, the "Water Horse" or as many may know it as, "Kelpie." I've long since escaped Ceffyl's mindset but the general Kelpie design has stuck with me.

Secret: You can click on the glowing character titles to find my alt list. Alternatively, it's here: ChildrenOfEugenia.

I realize my character lores are pretty long and this is a vore site... but man, I like writing stories.