Name: Vaas Montenegro Status: Unknown Alignment: Chaotic-Evil Date of birth: May 7, 1985 Birthplace: Rook Islands Nationality: Rook Islander/Hispanic Height: 5ft 10in (177.8cm) Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Residence(s): Rook Islands Affiliation: Pirates, Rakyat (Formerly) Profession: Pirate/Slaver/Drug Smuggler Weapon(s): AKM, Colt 1911, KA-BAR, Machete, Ornate Blade Sibling: Citra Talugmai

Greetings everyone, boys and girls. It is a pleasure to be here with all the beautiful people and adoring admirers who asked me to come to this place. In case you're wondering, yes, this account is under new management. In case you are wondering what happened to the old owner; the old blondie white boy named Vaas--he is going through a difficult time. He is very upset. I want you all to pray for him, send him positive energy, and hope he gets well soon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I fucking had you going didn't I? No, I hunted that pussy bitch ass girly white boy down and cut him-her-whatever open on a fuckin' meat hook. I did you a fucking favor. Do you fucking hear me!? Do we fucking understand each other? There can only be ONE Vaas. I WILL NOT TOLERATE FUCKING IMPOSTERS!!! I also don't tolerate pussy fucking whiney little shits who hurt themselves for attention. Such a waste. Hey, if you're gonna fucking cut yourself open, why let all that meat go to waste? I got two pretty komodos who'd love a bite. Hermano, at least let me do the cutting!

So, anyway, I'm here on a little business. A special offer. Just for you. That's right. I'm inviting you, for a limited time only, to come to my beautiful island, to go snorkeling, to swim with the little fishes, to explore the jungle, and if you call right now, I'll even take you on a safari–absolutely free!

We got trees, coral, birds, gators, crocodiles, I don't know the fuckin' difference, we got sharks, we got seals, we got pretty flowers and shit, we got bitches, we even got a fuckin' Hollywood superstar relaxing on the beach.

Come to my island. :)